Some Random Thoughts

This year has been a year full of experiences and life changing lessons for me. I've experienced some things that I never thought I would in my lifetime and I've learned and grown so much from that.
Let Go and Live: I discovered that when I quit worrying about everyone else and all their problem, I can have more time for myself and the things I need. If they don't care about their problems, then why should I? Throughout this process I have found time to exercise and eat right and it's helped me to loose a significant amount of weight this year. Something I've been struggling to do for so long. I've been more motivated to to put my best foot forward and enjoy the small things in life a little bit more.
Friends are So Important: One of the biggest things I've come to grips with this year is how incredibly important my friends are. This also ties into putting myself first. Taking time to enjoy the company of my friend. Cherishing their friendship. I feel so lucky to have so many great friends in my life and I only regret that it has took me this long to realize that. I've tried very hard this year to reconnect with friendship that have died out and I've even make an effort to make a few new friends along the way. We can never have too many friends.
Life will Never Be Perfect: I've learned this year that no matter what I do or how I spend my life, I will never have everything that I desire and still some of the things I don't. We will also have to go without a thing or two and must learn how to accept that. I watch others as they act like they have it all, but I've learned this year that no one truly does. I've had some pretty strong desires for a few things this year and its been very hard to live with the idea that it won't happen. This has been a very good lesson for me. I must learn to find that peace within myself. That has been a bigger challenge then anything else.
I hope I continue to grown and change for the better as the year comes to an end and I'm very excited to see what the new year will bring.

10 Years

So Dawson had his 10th birthday. It's hard to believe that it's been that long since he first came into my life. He's an amazing boy, full of love and kindness. He is my best friend, my whole world!

A Work in Progress

In an attempt to reconnect with my expressive/creative side...i decided to try out a new story...let me know what you think.....


It had gotten a little to normal in her marriage. Everyday she did the laundry, made the dinner, kept the house running. She'd kiss her husband every night before he went to bed and every morning before he went to work, it became something that seemed to melt into the mundane routine. Eighteen years of marriage and she finally began to realize how lost she was, how forgotten she felt, how lonely he had began to make her feel.

As she shut off the TV, she laid there and listened to the sound of him snoaring, she began to wonder what had happened to her life. Would he even notice if she put herself first for a change? Would he even care if for once she was true to her own wants and desires? That thought would sit with her for several weeks.

It's pretty amazing the way life throws you twists and turns. Often times you feel like theres no way out, but just when you least expect it, someone walks into your life and flips it upside down. This would soon happen to her.

He wasn't quite what she was expecting, but something caught her eye, something made her stay.  There was a certain mystery about him, and it kept pulling her in. And in time, with him, he began to make her feel new. For the frist time in so long, she felt beautiful and wanted.  A feeling that had long dissappeard in her marriage. He took out time for her, to listen to her, to gently hold her,  to be there when she cried and carried on. He was there to share her desires that had long gone unfullfilled. She found herself thinking of him all day long, wanting to be with him and ofter to him the answers to his own emptiness.

She wondered if he could really be so good, so wonderful, or was she just being foolish? How could someone like him come along and give her all those things she had been missing? How could someone really care so much?

Months went by, and she became someone that her husband never thought she could ever be. She became independent, confident, beautiful, desirable, and unfaithful. Her whole life had changed in so many ways.
And just as mysteriously as the stranger came into her life, he slipped out. Leaving her wondering where he had gone and what was the whole meaning. Was it to make her grow? Was it to renew her faith in love? What is to turn her into a better direction?

It's pretty amazing the way life throws you twist and turns. Often times, you feel like life can never again be as good as it used to, but just when you least expect it, life flips you upside down.

12 Simple Pleasures I Discovered in 2012

12. Spincah and Artichoke Dip on Pita Chips

11. Orange Leaf Soft Serve Yogart

10. The peace, quiet and extra time of both kids being in school

9. The New High Efficiency Washer and Dryer

8. My new, updated cell phone

7. My dads new and bigger house, it has a bigger garage, and more space for our garage sales

6. A kiss on the cheek from my nephew, Colby

5. The sound of Brody singing in the bathtub

4. The compassion that Dawson has for everyone around him

3. Listening to my boys laugh

2. This kiss my husband gives me every morning

1. The surrounding love of my family

Away He Goes

Brody started kindergarden this year. He's 6 months younger then Dawson was when he started, I think that made it a littler harder to deal with. I'm still home watching other peoples kids and finding that I have to keep myself busy so that I don't miss my own kids. Life sure has gone fast. I know I'm blessed for all the love and life in my life.

Family Lessons

It's a pretty awesome idea. The thought of a family where everyone gets along and always works as a team. A family that unconditionally loves each other and never makes judgement. Does this even exist?
My life, my family, has changed so much. A lot of times I find myself feeling lost and misplaced. I've learned a lot of hard lessons in the last couple years, lessons that are still sinking in.  I've learned that the family members I thought I could trust, I can't. I've learned that family members who I thought I was supposed to stay away from, are really my allies. I've learned that blood is really not that much thicker then water. I've learned that you family really can hurt you more then anyone else is possibly able to.
The hardest lesson I have learned is too keep my mouth shut, and I know blogging about it, isn't really keeping my mouth shut. But this is way better then it used to be. I know people will ALWAYS have their opinion. There will be those who will always feel like they are better, or know more then others. I'll never be able to change that.
The most important lesson I've learned is to try and raise my kids in the most honest and the most fair way. And to do it without a lot of drama. To teach them that there should be no competition within a family, no secrets and no lies. To let them make their own judgements about people without clouding up their decisions and ideas. Then pray that I did a halfway decent job.

I Love My Boys with All My Heart!

You never know love

until you become a mother!

Thank God for this blog....I really need to vent!
So Doug found this car that he was VERY intetested in. A 2007 Toyota Pris. It was red and he wasn't crazy about that. Anyways, he found on an online website out of Cable-Dalmer in Kansas City. There were actually 2 listed, one was a touring the other was regualar. He was very intetested in the touring. So, he contacted the online sales rep and asked her if they still had the touring. She said yes. Then he asked her if she would take 13,500 for it. She said yes, if we came to Kansas City on Saturday the paperwork would be ready.
So, like a couple of suckers, we load up and head to Kansas City. They bring around a car, we take it for test drive, Doug is liking it. Doug says, "This is the touring right?" The guy says I'm not sure, I think so. So we park, the guy goes in to run the carfax and Doug gets to looking. He finds these dents and scratches, you can tell it was wrecked. Doug says, "This is not the one I saw photos of" Then he looks at the tires and realizes that it is not the touring, it's the reguar. He's pretty upset. We go back in and he tells the salesman that it's not the touring and do they still have it? The guy said, they never had a touring. (RED FLAG) Then doug says he wants to talk to the manager. The guy says the manager is busy today. (RED FLAG) I asked if we can talk to the online sales rep. The guy says she is not working today. (RED FLAG) So Doug pretty much storms out of there, pissed off that we drove all that way so they could pull a swith on us.
While we are driving, I decided to call the manager and surprise....he answers! I say "I was told you would be busy today I'm surprised I got ahold of you" I told him who I was...he ofcourse knew why I was calling. He told me that they never had the touring and if we wanted the regular car he would give it to us for 13,500 which is a REALLY good deal. He hears Doug say in the background "It was wrecked!" So then he says to me "Then there is nothing left to talk about. You can jump back online and find one somewhere else." I said, "Okay we will." I can't believe how rude he was!
Discusted at the lack of honesty from thease people, I decided to call my friend who sells cars here in Topeka. He told us that he is not surpirse that Cable-Dahmer did that. Apparently, they have done things like that before. They don't care about the people, just the money. My friend, Mark, helped us find a better car at a better price. And he did it honestly! I guess things happen for a reason.
Who knows if they were actually pulling a switch on us, or if there was just a lack of communication or a mistake when posting online. No matter what, they should of been more polite and helpful and they should of been willing to figure out what went wrong and try to save their reputation and keep our business.
The moral of this story, don't go to Cable-Dahmer....go see my friend Mark at Ed Bozarth!

10 Things 2011 Taught Me....

10. MAYBE I REALLY DO LOVE MY DOG
He is so hyper and he barks all the time! Drives me crazy! But in 2011 we invested in a shock collar. I always thought that was cruel but, really, it's not. It's exactly what he needed to train him to stop barking. Therefore he can stay outside longer. He is more calm and therefore he gets more time out of his kennell. He has turned into a more pleasing pet and maybe I really do love him.

9. I CAN NO LONGER PUT UP WITH THE NEW EPISODES OF SNL
I really tried this year, but they just get dumber and dumber and less funny. I wish they were still as good as they used to be I give up, I can no longer put up with the new episdoes of SNL.

8. MY MOM DOES NOT HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS
Growing up I always felt I could turn to my mom for anything and everything. This year I have learned a hard lesson. She does not, nor has she ever had all the answers. I can't depend on her for everything. I have been trying hard to raise my kids more independently then I feel I was raised so that maybe they don't have to learn this lesson like I did. I love my mom, always will, but she doesn't have all the answers.

7. I'M NO GOOD A ROUGHING IT!!
I kinda always knew this. We took a little adventure this year past summer. I'm talking... bath in the lake, pee in a tree, watch out for the snakes, kind of adventure. I think I'll stick to camping in a campground thank you very much. I'm no good a roughing it!!!

6. I ADMIT THAT I AM ADDICTED TO CITYVILLE!
Yes, when I'm done with this, that is what I will most likely do. I admit it, I'm addicted to cityville.

5. TIMES CHANGE, PEOPLE CHANGE.
This year, I learned that things I used to know, are not the way they are now. I've learned that it is impossible to avoid. Change. I've learned to be flexible and patient and too look for the brighter moments. It's a hard concept for me, but times change, people change.

4. 9 KIDS IS DEFINATELY THE LIMIT
I want to make sure that they are each being loved enough, taken proper care of and I don't pull my hair out. Plus that is all that will fit in the van! :-) 9 is the limit!

3. BEAUTY IS NOT ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL
I saw pure nastyness in someone this year who I had always thought to be a beautiful and popular person. But this person confirmed that true beauty really does lie within. This person really changed my opinion and my mind about many things, you might even say this person changed my life in many ways. I will be more skeptical, I will be less trusting. Beauty is not always beautiful.

2. GARAGE SALES, FOR THE TIME BEING, ARE INEVITABLE!
Simply for 2 reasons....I can't stay away from them and I can't stop having them. Every 6 months I have to buy new clothes for the boys, theres no point in paying full price for something that will only last a few months. Thus, causing me to turning around and sell it when they've outgrown it. Plus every Christmas and birthday they get more crap! I just have to turn around and sell it when the next holiday comes. So, I guess, until the kids grow up, garage sales are inevitable!!

1. DISCOVERED HOW TRULY IMPORTANT MY HUSBAND IS!
It was a rough year, infact it's been a rought couple of years. But we are still together and my husband still means so much to me. I've learned to just keep forgiving and to keep asking for forgiveness. Neither of us are perfect. Marriage, life, can be so good if we just keep loving. I discovered how truly important my husband is!!!

A nice little get-away....

The last weekend of February we took a nice little family trip.....