A Photo, A Shadow, A Mirror

Some girls in this world always see themselves as fat. They spend all day starving or purging. The only time I ever look fat to myself is when I look at a photo or see my shadow, or when I look in that unavoidable mirror. I often wish I could be like those girls, even though I know it's not good. I just wish it were easier for me to remember how fat I am every minute of the day. Then maybe the temptation for food wouldn't be so strong and the will to exercise would.
It seems like every time I see a new photo of myself, I relight that fire under my big fat butt that often dies out. You know, that fire that tells me to order a chicken sandwich instead of a burger and that even though it's 103 degrees outside I still need to go for that walk.
And then I think about how wonderful a man my husband is to still be with me. How handsome he is, and how he should be with someone so thin and beautiful. He told me once that if I were thin I "would be smokin." I often think about that. It's good motivation.
Motivation.......yeah, that's something I have so much of. My grandma basically died from her poor health. There is so many overweight people in my family, mostly dad's side. And my kids....they should be my biggest motivation. I know Brody has my genes and it's very likely that he will be an obese child, I MUST keep that from happening.
I've lost the weight before, I know I can do it again. It just seems like there are so many obstacles.
Pray for me!

"Nothing tastes as good as it feels to be thin."